“I remember going to work every day leaving my 8-month-old baby back home. Seeing her in the evenings and not being able to run to her without having to first wash, sanitize and clean up because of the coronavirus, was truly heartbreaking. I cried almost every night just seeing her after work.”
The height of the COVID-19 pandemic was a difficult time for many. All around the world, millions of lives were lost to the virus, economies crashed with countless job losses, borders closed separating families for lengthy periods of time, schools and offices closed confining families to the walls of their homes day in and day out. With stress and anxiety around these uncertain times running high, the lockdown measures imposed to curb the spread of the virus made it harder for women and girls who were already in abusive relationships.
While the rest of the world was locked indoors, healthcare workers were very much at the frontlines of the pandemic, risking their very lives to save others - even at the cost of time spent apart from their own families.
24-year-old Kalpana Mahato is one such person. Employed as a Community-based Psychosocial Worker (CPSW) in Janakpur, Dhanusha District, Madhesh Province in Nepal, Kalpana found it extremely difficult to leave her two daughters at home just so she could continue to serve those who really needed support. But she was determined to continue.
“I remember going door to door and of course many wouldn't let me in due to fears of the virus, but I would still speak to them through the window where women would whisper their troubles to me.”
The people she helps serve as her motivation to step outside every day. She also remembers her own self years back. She did not realize until she started working as a CPSW that she was facing abuse at the hands of her in-laws just for having two daughters instead of sons. She had a difficult time for years as she silently took on the repeated verbal abuse from her in-laws, despite having a supportive husband.
In fact, it was her husband who convinced her to take on the role of a CPSW although she was hesitant as she had not completed her education nor did she have any previous work experience. Several years later, equipped with the training she received as part serving as a CPSW, Kalpana is now more confident and is able to better navigate herself even amidst the obstacles that come her way. Her in-laws too have now become more forthcoming and are more accepting of her and her daughters - aged 5 and 2. Kalpana is in fact grateful to her mother-in-law who watches over her daughters whilst she’s at work.
Serving as a CPSW is hard. It is a full-time job. When they are not seated at the Municipality Office, coordinating or referring cases of gender-based violence (GBV) to the Police or Judicial Committee, they are lobbying for GBV compensation or funds from the Local Government officials on behalf of victims/survivors; while other times, they are busy going door to door visiting community members in the locality. Traveling in rough and rocky terrains, in the cold winter or in the heat of summer, a CPSW is always on the go. Moreover, dealing with intense cases of GBV on a daily basis can take a serious toll on the mental health of a CPSW or any GBV-related service provider. In her two years of service thus far, Kalpana has witnessed her share of traumatic cases - mostly cases of rape and suicide stemming from domestic violence.
She recalls one such case that she intervened in during the COVID-19 lockdown.
Her neighbor once confided in Kalpana whispering through the window, saying her father-in-law and mother-in-law beat her all the time. The beating was intensified when the finances were constrained at home as her husband had lost his job and she too wasn't bringing in any money to the house as she took care of the household chores. Her husband, who was unsupportive and continued to turn a blind eye to the abuse she was suffering, finally moved overseas and threatened to file for divorce - leaving her and her two daughters.
Kalpana quickly intervened, bringing in some counselors and staff of WOREC to speak to and counsel the in-laws. They even contacted the husband who was overseas. After 5 months, the husband returned but he started shouting at Kalpana asking her not to intervene. Once he had bumped into Kalpana on the road and he had started yelling at her loudly for everyone to hear, blaming her for interfering and forcing them to be together. She silently listened without saying a word but over the months she quietly continued the counseling to the neighbor and her family. Finally, after months, the couple decided to reconcile and give their marriage another chance. Kalpana checks in on them frequently and is happy to report that they are happy and also have another one-month-old son now.
Kalpana is one of 21 CPSWs who were trained to serve as part of the European Union (EU) funded project which was designed to ensure that GBV services remain available and accessible to all victims/survivors, even amidst a lockdown situation.
The importance of having access to uninterrupted GBV support services cannot be emphasized enough. It can make a huge difference to those who really need help. To mitigate the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on GBV, the Delegation of EU to Nepal and the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) implemented a two-year project on ‘COVID-19 Crisis Response to Gender-based Violence in Nepal’ (2020 - 2022). With partners such as CMC Nepal, Sancharika Samuha and WOREC, the project was operational across a total of four districts in Madhesh Province (Dhanusha) and Karnali Province (Dailekh, Jumla and Surkhet), within which seven municipalities are targeted.
Despite the fact that the project ended in 2022, Kalpana is even more determined to serve others as a CPSW or even just as a friendly neighbor. After all, there are many whispers to be heard and Kalpana is happy to provide a listening ear to anyone who needs support even if they can only whisper through the windows.
*Ends*
If you are facing any form of gender-based violence, please visit the nearest One-Stop Crisis Management Center (OCMC) or contact the 24-hour National Women Commission's hotline 1145.
